Landmark Insights

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Early in life, in certain situations, we might feel judged or compare ourselves to others and think we come up short in some way, etc., and feel that “something’s wrong.” In those moments, we decide that we don’t have what it takes to “win” in life. To compensate, we figure out a way of being (a “strong suit” or “strategy for winning” so to speak) to address whatever we think of as missing. Those early decisions... Read more >

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Our “identity,” who we consider ourselves to be, is essentially arrived at by default, assembled to adapt to something we saw as wrong or some seeming insufficiency. Mostly when we were young and learning to deal with life, we made decisions to get through the circumstances we encountered. Those decisions worked at the time... Read more >

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Everything in our own immediate experience supports the notion that we are the center of the universe. The world is there in front of US or behind US, to the left or right of US. Other people’s thoughts and feelings have to be communicated to us somehow, but ours are so immediate, urgent, real.*
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In our relationships, when we focus on our problems or how wrong things are, we lose our power to be and act effectively. Problems lie in the lack of inventing a future for our relationships “as a possibility.” When there’s no possibility created, pretty much what’s left is being upset. The payoff in that is that we get to be right and see others as wrong. In being upset, in withholding our happiness... Read more >

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How to live a life based on possibility in a world where possibility regularly defaults to deciding amongst options, predictability, and forecasting…? Options are familiar, foreseeable extrapolations, essentially forecasts based on our past interpretations. Ironically, however, they’re just repetitions in disguise, not really options at all, leaving us with.... Read more >

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