Relationships: Seeing and engaging with possibility

At some point in our relationships, we’ll likely have the thought that something’s missing—that we’re not fully satisfied. Dissatisfaction invariably follows satisfaction, because what we so often do with satisfaction is try to hold on to it. Satisfaction held on to, however, can become mechanical. Satisfaction isn’t something to be held on to like a thing, it can only be created. To create something requires a space in which to create, and when that space isn’t there, most likely it’s because we’re holding on to something from the past—something that we’re reluctant to leave behind, reluctant to transform its hold on our present-time lives.

Being satisfied is a commitment, a stand we’re taking for a possibility. Seeing and engaging with possibility allows us to move from seeing a situation as thwarting or frustrating, to an occurrence that’s an invention, a making up, something to be embraced and valued—an opportunity to move things forward, to provide what’s missing, to be a powerful opening for action. When we take that stand, the conditions and circumstances for our relationships begin to reorder and realign themselves –we discover what’s possible in being human beyond the places where we might limit ourselves. Transformation doesn’t merely change our outlook. It removes arbitrary ideas and views that limit and shape what’s possible.

Graphic: Danny Shanahan/The New Yorker Collection/The Cartoon Bank

 
Jerry Baden
Landmark Forum leader
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