We somehow hold on to the underlying notion that a certain predictability and control are possible, but at some point in our lives, we experience situations which are inherently unpredictable, times where …Read more >

Among the major themes to which literature repeatedly turns, none may be richer and more consuming than regret. Our preferences sometimes tend toward comfort, familiarity, safety. Creating a breakthrough …Read more >

Map making fulfills one of our most ancient and deep-seated desires: understanding the world around us and our place in it. But maps need not just show continents and oceans: there are …Read more >

Two mirrors facing each other create a fun-house hall that ricochets an image back and forth until it vanishes into an infinite regress. If we placed a chameleon in that hall, it …Read more >

I used to wonder if children who wore glasses saw better or only different worlds…Whatever reality may be, it will be shaped by the lens through which we see it. When we …Read more >

Breakthroughs begin with holding a picture of what if, what might, what could be. Breakthroughs come from being committed to something even if the path to achieve it is unclear. Breakthroughs aren’t …Read more >

Living in the face of a possibility can sometimes be difficult—difficult in the ways poetry, music, or a deep intimacy can be difficult, because it doesn’t explain, it doesn’t …Read more >

Many of us think of possibility either, as choosing among a variety of opportunities and options, or something that might occur at a later point in time. Possibility, however, allows us to …Read more >

We all experience moments of real emotion, excitement, passion, when our feelings toward another kind of “take us over.” In our best, our most vivid moments of living, we observe those powerful …Read more >

Access to extraordinary living is available to each of us. It requires a willingness to explore what’s at the heart of being human. We relate to ourselves from different roles, experiences, cultures, …Read more >

If you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living.* If we can consider that mistakes and breakdowns are a making up, an invention, a declaration of something missing instead of …Read more

The profound love that’s possible in our relationships comes from a deep sense of alignment—an alignment of vision, of our most fundamental intentions and purpose(s) in life, in which each person knows …Read more >

What if we were born happy, fulfilled, and satisfied; and there was no need to make it because we had it already made. And then imagine that the notion “…there’s something wrong …Read more >

At one time, fail was simply a verb that denoted being unsuccessful or falling short of expectations. Since then phrases like überfail, massive fail, or, most popular of all, epic fail have …Read more >

“…Our teacher asked for nominations for the best song. All hands were in the air. When I announced my choice, a long and embarrassing silence followed. I loved that song, but if …Read more >

At some point today, you’re likely to hear someone utter a cry of defeat: IMPOSSIBLE. You may hear it ricochet through the corridors of a company. You may hear it from a …Read more >

Language is the bridge between the uncreated and the created worlds. It is both the ultimate reality and the instrument through which reality is brought forth. There’s a world out …Read more >

If I were to wish for anything I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of what can be—for the eye, which, ever young and ardent, sees …Read more >

Throughout our lives, we’ve each had special dreams and hopes—times there was something about ourselves, our community, our family, our world—that sparked for a moment that called to us.

Every day we are presented with opportunities to live as if it’s business as usual or to create something exceptional, something beyond who we’ve been, what we’ve imagined, and what we know. Each day…Read more >

“…In virtually every human society, ‘he hit me first’ or ‘he started it’ provides an acceptable rationale for what comes next. It’s thought that a punch thrown second is legally and morally …Read more >

In our relationships, when we focus on our problems or how wrong things are, we lose our power to be and act effectively. Problems lie in the lack of inventing a future …Read more >

The main presumption of existence is that life is one thing after another—that time is a one-way, no-return, take-your-lumps kind of deal. Hence the mild surprise with the question whether time has …Read more >

It often seems like our past experience is calling the shots. Here’s how it works: When we’ve had a bad day, or a bad experience, we put that past experience into our …Read more >

The present is given by the future, but we unwittingly file the past (our many experiences good and bad, how we interpreted them, what we decided about them, the conclusions we made, etc.) into a “future drawer.” In doing so, we act, think, and …Read more >

At some point in our relationships, we’ll likely have the thought that something’s missing—that we’re not fully satisfied. Dissatisfaction invariably follows satisfaction, because what we so often do with satisfaction is try …Read more >

As anyone can tell you, it’s a short step from asking the question: “What does it all mean?” to arriving at the inevitable answer: “Nothing.” Meaning is constructed by each of us …Read more >

While our understanding of things comes largely from our past experience, our inspiration, vitality and power come from a future—that toward which we live, that which shapes and directs our choices and …Read more >

Trails are made by the act of walking. Once made, we travel along the grooves that our own repeated action has made for us; the paths we take are well-worn because we take …Read more >

We have this underlying way of thinking and being that there is a certain order to things–and we often take that idea to imply that a certain predictability and control are possible. …Read more >

We sometimes think that the circumstances in our relationships keep our relationships from being great. (If only she…, if only he…, etc.) But it’s not the content, it’s the way we hold …Read more >

How we describe, label, hold things, think things—it’s within those frameworks that our lives unfold. There are no “facts” that limit possibility, there are only “conversations” that limit and constrain, or those …Read more >

Where would something happen if there wasn’t nothing? Everything would be static. There could be no motion between bodies, no music minus silence, no rhythm without pause, no meaning without space between …Read more >

When we’re out to create a breakthrough, step outside any constraints of our circumstances, and stand for something we don’t know how to achieve, we don’t reference what we’re out to create …Read more >

Our inner voice is reassuringly or irritatingly always there on tap, offering us the unfailing, if ambiguous, company of a guest who does not plan to leave.* We essentially enter into conversations …Read more >

We were brought up, enculturated, taught, related to, from the idea that our subjective experience (thoughts, emotions, moods, feelings, etc.) has a causative relationship with our actions. That whole idea is really …Read more >

Breakdowns and upsets are pretty much always a double-sided affair. On the inside of the box, they’re “inevitable,”… Read more >

Our stories represent the richness of what it means to be human—there is a power, validity and value in them, but not when those stories get confused with the presence of life. …Read more >

The stone and the tiger have no choice of life. The stone must gravitate and tiger must pounce. Only human beings are faced with the mind-boggling responsibility of having to choose, at …Read more >

We sometimes think about relationships from a particular framework or story—how we met, what happened, the good times, the bad times, what we did, what we learned, etc.—a story primarily shaped by …Read more >

Transforming our relationships with ourselves, each other, and the world with which we interact requires a radical departure from our familiar notions of selfhood. It takes becoming aware of… Read more >

The maps we start out with are mostly handed down, inherited with all the peculiarities and standards of our cultures. We often end up living within their parameters, filtering what we see …Read more >

Forgiveness is one of the most powerful actions a human being can take–it doesn’t change the past, it enlarges the future.* Forgiveness is a choice that frees us from the burden of …Read more >

“Yes” extends boundaries, establishes new playing fields, moves possibility from ideas to actuality. Actress and improv artist Tina Fey points to the opportunity yes affords us when she says, “the first rule …Read more >

We commonly think of freedom as the ability to define options and choose among them. The context or framework inside which we talk about freedom is freedom “from,” freedom “of,” freedom “to.” …Read more >

Superman had issues with Kryptonite. For Achilles, it was his heel. For us, it’s the three-part myth of “is, because, and I.” With this myth in place, the freedom, power, and dimensionality …Read more >

We doubt, endlessly we doubt. If we had the chance to be “free of doubt,” would we take it? If yes, what then.* Starting from a premise that who we really are …Read more >

Most of us can ride a bicycle, but no one actually knows how it is done. Not even engineers or bicycle manufacturers know the “formula” for balancing—there’s no “right” method of counteracting the …Read more >

We take for granted that things are a particular way—and that it’s the facts, realities, and circumstances that determine what’s possible. We often, however, don’t see the contexts from which we come …Read more >

For most of us, “I” is positional (“you” are there and “I” am here), a location in time and space, a point of view that accumulates all previous experiences and points of …Read more >

If a cat jumps on a hot stove, he will never jump on a hot stove again. And that’s good. But he will also never jump on a cold stove again—and that …Read more >

“The world is out there, but descriptions of the world are not. Descriptions of the world can be true or false—the world on its own, unaided by [language], cannot. The world does …Read more >

 Nothing is so reckless as waiting for certainty—that’s a game we are sure to lose. Anyone who runs a business, chooses a mate, or just drives down the street knows there’s a …Read more >

Everything in our own immediate experience supports the notion that we are the center of the universe. The world is there in front of US or behind US, to the left or …Read more >

We often approach life counting on a certain order of things, thinking that predictability and control are possible. Then we encounter the experience of uncertainty, often with chaos close on its heels. …Read more >

Decisions have to be made constantly. Coin-flipping, I Ching consultation, Rock-Paper-Scissors, asking a friend are all time-honored means of coming to a decision… What should I be for Halloween? Do I need …Read more >

An “expectation unfulfilled” or “ideal unfulfilled” leads to a lack of power, where a “possibility unfulfilled” leads to a possibility—and no loss of power or freedom. When we look at our experience…Read more >

When we don’t pay heed to the dance with uncertainty–when we limit the ambiguity, the floundering about, the experimentation–we deprive ourselves of the raw stuff of being fully alive.* There is one …Read more >

The form and composition of money may change (e.g. livestock, beads, metal, paper, bitcoins, etc.)—but its significance remains. “Money is a fact of life, yet most of us understand it far less …Read more >

There is no selfhood where there’s no community. We do not relate to others as the persons we are; we are who we are in the relating to others.* When we think …Read more >

Some of us think happiness is dependent on things outside of ourselves—we’ll be happy when…or happy because…or happy if… Others think of happiness as a rare and fleeting thing, or are dubious …Read more >

The Harvard Business Review might not be where you’d expect to read about fear’s pervasive presence, but an article there referred to a great passage from a Joseph Heller novel. The novel’s …Read more >

  Having power, success, and freedom is a lot more risky than not having them. This business about freedom, about power, is really a product of a place to stand. It takes …Read more >

Breakthroughs happen not because of startling new facts, but because of a change in the overall way that the universe is seen. Nothing is more exciting than to see the world in a new way… Watch Video >

Something happens. Immediately, we assign meaning, categorize importance, draw conclusions, identify action to be taken, form opinions that linger. This collapse between what happened and the meanings we assign takes place so …Read more >

Our “identity,” who we consider ourselves to be, is essentially arrived at by default, assembled to adapt to something we saw as wrong or some seeming insufficiency. Mostly when we were young …Read more >

A paradigm is a two-edged sword. When we swing it one way, it cuts the information that agrees with it into very fine, precise detail. But when we swing it the other …Read more >

If in the making of a computer chip or a bicycle wheel some small part were left out, neither would be able to function as intended. Any disruption in the integrity of …Read more >

We commonly think of freedom as “freedom from,” “freedom of,” or “freedom to” do or be something, or as the ability to define alternatives and select among them. But freedom far exceeds …Read more >

Deep surprise is a way we signal ourselves that a thing perceived or thought may be consequential, that a discovery or insight may be of genuine use. What most surprises will be …Read more >

We are essentially in conversations with ourselves most of the time—how we listen is determined by our “concerns” (being successful, being liked, wanting to know “what’s in it” for us, how things …Read more >

Living from an invented context has just as much impact and command value as living from a default context—the difference, however, is the difference between a life of predictability and a life of possibility.
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When we are up to something, we are called to step forward, to be and act in wholly new ways. It calls forth strength and creativity, generates energy and excitement, and attracts and invites …Read more >

…where you ignite your special commitments and passions
…where you’re making the difference you’re out to make
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“…From an early age I knew my ambition was to be in a plot, or several plots—but no plots came my way. You have to apply for them, a friend of mine …Read more >

“. . . Almost anybody can learn to think or believe or know, but not a single human being can be taught to be. Why? Because whenever you think or you believe …Read more >

Communication, conversation, language are predominately thought of, anchored in our minds, as an expressing, a speaking, a vocalizing. That outward expression goes far beyond talking, far beyond…Read more >

At what point are things the way they are…and at what point a possibility beyond that? What does it take to live our lives as a creative act-to take our remarkable parts and unremarkable parts and create an extraordinary whole? Watch video >

When relationships are driven by complaint or by keeping track of who did what, or the need to be right, to control, the wonderful world of human possibilities ceases to reverberate through …Read more >

In taking on big commitments, games worth playing, there will always be failures. Dealing with them effectively requires a special sort of environment, a way of being, in which what we have …Read more >

Possibility is an element of temporality, of time. We are localized in the present, but our overlay—our relationship to the present—is never just the present itself, it’s either the past/present or the …Read more >

(Oh, those silly humans! So desperate for their absolutes!) Sometimes it seems like the only job of the world is to gently (or not so gently) separate us from our deepest assurances…Maybe you, too, were once…Read more >

Choice. It’s the word that allows yes and the word that makes no possible. It’s the word that puts the free in freedom and takes obligation out of the mix. It’s the …Read more >

Every day we are presented with opportunities to live as if it’s “business as usual” or to create something beyond who we’ve been, beyond what we know. A breakthrough is not taking what’s there and making it into something new or taking what is and changing it. Watch video >

Creating a future exists in language—it starts with articulating a vision, and comes to life in conversation. The lifeblood of leadership in one sense is the capacity for dialogue, for connection, for …Read more >

When we compromise, even in the tiniest of matters, it’s easier for those compromises to become more and more commonplace. Over time, bit by bit, this erodes our sense of self. It’s …Read more >

Hundreds of flavors of ice cream, countless selections of movie channels, an infinite choice of mates, our daily round of work and play, our incessant getting and spending—the world of “more, better, …Read more >

Leadership is not something that’s gained because of birth or tenure. It’s about a future that we’re out to create—not based on any actuality, or clear-cut pathways to get there, but rather …Read more >

When we become aware of our default views and begin to see ourselves as authors of those interpretations, we recognize that the “I,” as we know it is not an absolute. Read more >

Communication.
It can alter that way you feel and the way you act.
It’s what gives life to our deepest aspirations and our wildest dreams.
It has the power to create and alter the very nature of what is possible.
Watch video >

At some point, early on in life, stuff happens that doesn’t quite work out how we think it should. In those moments we come to believe that “there’s something wrong here.” Our …Read more >